Of Chocolate and Baby Names
by Phosphorescent
Summary: In which Rose Malfoy threatens her brother and discusses baby names with her husband. "Scorpius, I love you. But I'd never inflict a Pigmy Puff with that name, let alone a child." It's just a normal day in the life of the Next Generation.


_Disclaimer: Everything contained within this fic (characters, universe, etc.) belongs to J.K. Rowling. Shockingly, I am _not_ J.K. Rowling._

* * *

During her pregnancy, Rose Malfoy craved chocolate. Now this would not be a strange turn of events for many witches, but Rose _hated_ chocolate. Loathed it, even. Hugo, of course, perverse boy that he was, had always loved it. When they were little, she had dreaded the times when he would go shopping with her mother, because they'd always come back with the nasty chocolate-covered type of biscuits.

"Ugh, Hugo, why did you have to buy the defective biscuits?" she'd moan, nose crinkled with disgust.

"Just because _you're_ odd, doesn't make these defective," Hugo would say cheerfully around a mouthful of biscuit.

"You're more of a girl than I am," she'd tease him.

"I am not!" he'd cry indignantly. As he got older, he'd just reply, "So what does that make Teddy, then?"

And Rose would huff, and say, "Well… that's _different_," and proceed to scrape the chocolate off of her biscuit before eating it.

When Hugo was in a particularly difficult mood, he'd ask her exactly how it was different, and Rose never had a proper answer.

So it was simply too ironic that at this moment, when Rose wanted chocolate more than anything else in the world, the grocery was _all out_ of chocolate-coated biscuits. The Lupins were away on holiday, so she couldn't raid their pantry, and her parents only had chocolate flavoured biscuits, which were an entirely different thing. And Uncle Harry and Aunt Ginny refused to share their last pack of biscuits, selfish gits. She'd have thought that Aunt Ginny would be a tad more sympathetic, having been pregnant once herself.

At last, defeated, Rose was reduced to begging from Hugo.

Knocking on his door, Rose flapped her robes a bit, trying desperately to cool herself down a bit. Why had no one warned her how _hot_ pregnancy made a person?

She knocked again.

"Coming!" a voice called, and she could hear footsteps hurrying to the door.

"Rose?" Hugo asked, opening the door. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh, that's nice," she said waspishly.

Hugo glanced in both directions, before hastily ushering her into his flat.

"And why are you wearing robes? Here, that is. You _know_ my neighbours think I'm strange enough without 'bizarrely-dressed' people pounding on my door at all hours."

"Ohhh. Sorry, Hugo, I forgot. I was in a hurry, and I didn't think to change."

"What was so important that you didn't have time to put on Muggle clothes?" he asked, rolling his eyes. "Sprogs started talking to you whilst still in the womb, have they?"

"Oh, ha ha. Very funny," Rose said, gingerly lowering herself onto the couch.

"Glad we agree," Hugo said, smirking slightly.

"Couldn't I have just come to visit my favourite brother?" she asked.

"We all know that if you had a favourite sibling, it would be Al," Hugo pointed out matter-of-factly.

"Eh, true that," Rose said. "But technically speaking, you're my favourite, seeing as you're Mum and Dad's only other child. Besides, if I had had to room with Al for years, I'm not so sure I'd still be so fond of him."

If Rose had thought that Hugo actually believed that she liked Al better, she would have protested vehemently. As it was… she knew Hugo was just taking the mickey.

"So really, what's going on?" Hugo asked. "You _never_ visit."

"Well, I've never needed to," Rose protested. "We see each other often enough, what with all the Sunday family dinners."

"Exactly my point," Hugo said.

"Well, I sort of have a favour to ask of you…"

"I knew it!"

"But you've got to promise not to make fun of me…"

"Me?"

"I'm serious, Hugo," Rose snapped. "I wouldn't have come to you with this if I had any other options."

"OK, OK, I promise not to tease you. That good enough?"

Rose eyed him suspiciously. "I suppose that will have to do."

"So, what's the favour? Can't promise that I'll grant it, mind you…"

"Erm… do you have any chocolate-covered biscuits? I'm rather craving them at the moment, and all the local shops are out."

"Wait… you want 'defective' biscuits?" Hugo asked, snorting with laughter. "Seriously?"

"Hugo…" Rose said warningly.

"Right, right… just a minute."

He disappeared into the kitchen, presumably to fetch a pack of the biscuits. Rose could hear the sounds of muffled laughter through the walls.

A few minutes later, a somewhat composed Hugo appeared with a pack of biscuits in each hand.

"Take your pick… dark or milk chocolate covered."

Rose snatched them both.

"Thanks, Hugo," she said feelingly, before tearing into one of the packets.

Her eyes closed in bliss.

_This_ was what she had needed.

Life was good.

* * *

Life was good, until she reached home, and realised that Hugo would spread the tale far and wide among the Weasley clan.

A few hours later, it occurred to her that she could have bought some plain digestives and dipped them in melted chocolate, thus sparing herself embarrassment. Or she could have forced her Dad to Apparate to the Tesco in Muggle London that carried at least 20 different types of chocolate-covered biscuits.

Why hadn't she stopped to _think_?

Stupid hormones.

* * *

But nothing, absolutely _nothing_, in the entire day compared to when Scorpius got home, and announced his latest idea for their son's name: Boniface.

"Scorpius, I love you. You know that I think that you're brilliant. But I'd never inflict a _Pigmy Puff_ with that name, let alone a child."

What had happened to the boy she had known, who had always sworn that if he ever had children he'd give them the most mundane names imaginable?

"Imagine the level of teasing he'd get," she continued.

"Says the woman who wants to name him 'Berwyn'," Scorpius said incredulously.

"As a _middle name_! Besides, it's better than _Kleng_. That's a _Goblin_ name, Scorpius."

"I still don't see your problem with that one. Your mum loved it."

"Yeah, because she thought it made a great political statement, not because it was any good."

"Well, we still have loads of time," Scorpius said in a pacifying manner.

"Although to listen to Grandmas Weasley and Malfoy, we should have decided _months_ ago," Rose said, rolling her eyes.

"You know that my grandmother wants you to name him Antares, right?" Scorpius ventured.

"Not going to happen," Rose said crisply.

"And I'm not sure if that's better or worse than what my mother wants to name him," he continued.

"What's that?" Rose asked hesitantly.

"Aloysius," Scorpius said, infusing the word with a world of scorn.

Rose winced.

"Well, at least you come by your awfulness at naming things naturally," she muttered.

Scorpius snorted.

"At least my family doesn't name each other after recently murdered people," he pointed out.

"Touché," Rose said, thinking of her grandmother's suggestions of 'Gideon' and 'Alastor'. "Although I wouldn't mention that amongst _them_, mind you. Sometimes I don't think they realise how awful it can be for their children. Thank Merlin Mum and Dad bucked that particular trend."

"Just think," Scorpius teased, "you could have been named… I dunno, Nymphadora or something."

Rose shuddered. "And when I married you, it would have become Nymphadora Malfoy. I think Great Aunt Andromeda would have had a coronary."

"Don't get me wrong, I'm sure Lupin's mother was a wonderful woman, but _Nymphadora_?" he said in disgust.

"To hear my father talk, she hated the name too," Rose said with a grin. "And speaking of my father, he's joking that we should name our child Chudley. At least, I think he's joking…"

Scorpius laughed.

"He's going to start indoctrinating little Boniface before he's even born!" he said, grinning.

"Scorpius. We are _not_ naming our son Boniface," Rose said exasperatedly.

"But it has so much symbolic _meaning_," he protested. "'Good Fate' to counter 'Bad Faith' and all that."

"You never should have been allowed to take Ancient Runes," Rose muttered. "Or Divination."

"Well, what else would you suggest, oh wise one?" Scorpius asked.

"I was thinking of Alexander, actually," Rose said.

"That's… not bad, actually," Scorpius said with a slight tone of surprise. "It's normal enough that he wouldn't get picked on, but it's formal enough that Grandmother wouldn't throw a fit."

"And it shortens nicely too," Rose pointed out. "None of that nonsense trying to create a nickname where there clearly isn't a decent one to be found."

Scorpius grinned, remembering his schooldays nickname. Rose had always thought it the stupidest thing ever, and had never been shy about telling him that.

"So, now that that's settled," Scorpius said, "how does Boniface sound for a middle name?"

Rose groaned.

**-Finis-**


End file.
